The Boys Club

2024-2025 Recap

The Boys Club, did the damn thing.

Well, our inaugural season is in the books. Let’s dig in, shall we?

First, and foremost, Congratulations to Mr. Colin Vito, our first TBC Champ! Colin has been in a lot of fantasy leagues I’ve been a part of in the past and has always been that lingering dangerous team. It didn’t come as a surprise to see him take the crown this year, especially starting 6-0 to kick off the season and end up becoming the #2 seed. With stand outs like AJ Brown, Nico Collins, and…. Chuba Hubbard? His subpar draft ended up bringing home the ship. I didn’t think he could even see the draft board from where he was sitting at the draft. Noted: I guess it does benefit to squint when sitting far away. Congrats again Colin, excited to see if you can defend your crown next year!

Give it up everyone, The King, The Crown, The Man, Colin Vito!

Runner Up, The Underdog, Mr. Alex Hernandez! Alex came out of the gates firing going up 3-0 on the season, then his team started to absolutely shit the bed barely getting over the 100 mark, SOMETIMES. However, Mr. Miami did enough to stay relevant throughout the season and got into the playoffs with a 7-7 record and the 4th seed! Then came the daunting task of going up against the juggernaut “Ignorance is Chris” to make it to the ship. The Underdog, true to his name, beat Chris to make it all the way to the ship, only to be slapped down to 2nd overall. Great job, Alex. You drafted so many Miami players that Tyreek is even done with Miami after this year. Better luck next time!

The bronze medal was awarded to none other than Mr. Kenny Draper. As a “first-year” fantasy football player, this dude really showed out in the draft and throughout the year. I mean, aside from taking the obvious Madden curse, McCaffrey, Kenny and the Jets surprised us all with an absolute stellar draft. According to ESPN’s Fantasy Draft Power Rankings, Kenny had the best draft. Battling through injuries and no thanks to the shit 49ers, Kenny took his team all the way to the bronze medal. Great job man, seriously. But next time, don’t lie to everyone and say you’ve never played. Beginners luck my ass.

Now that the awards have been handed out. Let’s get into the absolute dog shit teams…

Mr. Chris Means. The fucking man throughout the regular season. Your team looked absolutely like a freight train that nobody could stop. Reminded me a lot of the 05 Colts with Peyton Manning. Strong throughout the entire regular season, to only choke so hard in the playoffs that I could hear the man you’re blowing scream that “Ignorance is Bliss”. I’m glad you joined The Boys Club. I laughed at your draft pick of fucking Drake London. I’m sorry, I’ll pay more attention next time.

Our other newbie, and true to the word, Mr. Clint Kroese. Valiant fucking effort brother. Aside from the phone calls of asking me how to replace people from your bench into your active line up, or how to make a trade, or how to pick someone up off the waiver wire, you put together a playoff team in your first year. Google is your friend. I’m proud of you and excited to see what you do in the coming years.

Mr. Andrew Malone, Mr. “I’m too busy to make it to the draft”. I can’t believe we auto drafted you a team that still did better than my team. Un-fucking-believable. Next year, if you decide to be a bitch and not attend the draft, we are filling up your team from Kickers up. Maxing out on every position too, because damn that was brutal. In all seriousness, Andrew put in about 50% effort this year and still went 7-7. For the rest of us, please put in that little of effort next year too because if you actually pay attention, we might be fucked.

*sigh* Yours truly, Your Commish. What can I say? I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t try. I thought I had a solid draft. I was putting up numbers, but all you mother fuckers wouldn’t let up. Not even for a minute. My absolute worst performance in my fantasy career so far. Right up there with how Justin Herbert performs in the Playoffs. Dog Shit. I’m going to seriously reevaluate my evaluation process for next year, and I don’t think I’m smart enough to even do that. Fuck it, we ball.

Speaking of balls, Mr. John Spicer. I can’t believe your whole “cEeDeE lAmB iS a WiNnEr” didn’t work out for you. You finished even below the guy that started 0-7. Your team sucked. You still drafted fucking Kyle Pitts, WHEN WILL YOU LEARN BOY?!? Seriously though, I love having your in my leagues, especially when you’re trying to fleece everyone with your shit trades. See you next year.

Mr. John Vandenberg, you tried. You tried to make a push at the end there to sneak into the playoffs only to be slapped all the way down to the Toilet Bowl. So close you could taste it. Instead, that’s shit you’re tasting, because your team couldn’t do ANYTHING outside of Ja’Marr Chase and Brock Bowers. Bro kept missing the mark like his boy Justin Tucker this year. At least you didn’t get last…

…you guys smell that?

…….is that….shit?

NOPE! It’s just Mr. Brian Marsch. The newlywed, the SD native, the Spanos hater, the ABOSULTE SHITTER OF THE BOYS CLUB. What can I say dude? Your team honestly doesn’t look like it should suck, on paper. But damn, your team did not perform when you needed it most, like at all. While starting decently strong, your team fell apart like 1-ply toilet paper after eating Chipotle. You now wear the crown of shit. I’m sure you think you could do better than last, right? Guess we won’t know until next year…

Overall, great season boys. It’s been an absolute pleasure hosting y’all. I have some ideas for next year already cooking, so stay tuned for those. Enjoy the rest of the NFL Playoffs boys! Love you all.